I had just concluded my presentation, Managing Critical Conversations, at the HR Florida State Council Conference and Expo when a young HR professional approached me. She said with a smile, "John, thanks for giving me a headache for the past hour. I have been gnashing my teeth and clenching my jaw, because our CEO is one of those leaders you say are practicing management without a license. They are a victim of their own stupidity."
Let me summarize why this HR professional was at their wit's end. She had a leader who did not practice what he preached. He talked about the importance of teamwork, but everyone knew he did not get along with the a few senior leaders. He had a reputation of talking behind the backs of his senior leaders. In private he often disagreed with changes in the organization. She then asked me, "What am I to do as an HR professional?"
I reminded her, that if she remained silent, her silence would project agreement in the eyes of the CEO. I encouraged her to approach the CEO privately. I told her to let the leader know this is not easy for you. Also, remind the leader that if she is doing her job of communicating upward, there cannot be a negative consequence.
I said try this: "Boss, I am a little nervous about bringing this to your attention. Here is something to think about. When you are out there telling us about the importance of changing, but privately, you tell others you don't necessarily agree with the change. Do you think this will make co-workers more or less likely to accept this change? Would you agree it is harder to accept change if you do not accept it yourself? When you talk about the importance of teamwork, yet everyone knows you do not get along with a few senior leaders, do you think your pleas for teamwork fall upon deaf ears? During senior leading meetings, you tend to compromise private discussions you have had with other leaders. Do you think this makes others secure or insecure? I am unsure if this is your intention, but I have an obligation and responsibility to call it as I see it."
She then asked if I could email her what I just said. I agreed. Then she shared that other HR professionals need to hear precisely this. You all can thank her for this blog.
As she walked away, she turned and said, "Having hard and uncomfortable conversations is not easy." I smiled and said, "The only thing worse than conflict is avoiding it. The biggest challenge with uncomfortable conversations is to model what others did not effectively model for you."
Some leaders just don't know what they don't know. Yet some leaders know better, and they still make a choice not to change.
Well, those leaders become victims of their own stupidity.
John Graci
President & CEO | Graci Leadership Solutions
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